Ok, I have been out of the picture for a few days. I had my daughter three weeks early so her birth was pretty much unexpected. Nonetheless, I have written up my birth experience so many can share it with me. Writing is the best way to capture an experience and relive it many times over and over again.
So, I am finally home from the long awaited birth of my daughter, Ms. Brylee Marie Hackney. You know, it seems like from the minute that I found out I was expecting, I have counted down the days until her birth. Yes, I do feel relieved from the extra weight, elephant feet, fat face, back pain, sleepless nights, and unbearable heart-burn, but I have this overwhelming guilt—it is all over!!
Let’s backtrack to Wednesday, April 9, 2008. I fixed up extra special because I had a doctor’s appointment. Lord knows I hadn’t felt like fixing up in weeks, but I thought it would make me feel better. J The plan was to weigh Brylee Marie and check my cervix, and then make a plan to avoid the delivery trauma that I had with my son. So I was sitting in the doctor’s office thinking, “Gee I have three more weeks of this misery!”
Anyway, they measured my little/big girl and averaged her at 7 pounds and 6 ounces—the lady assured us that she is never off over a half a pound either way. So at that point, I was sure that I had at least another week before they could induce me! After my doctor checked my cervix, my daughter was so low that she decided to stretch my cervix—that hurt like heck, but my motivation was thinking of a step closer to giving birth!!
I was sent to the hospital to check for toxemia since I was swollen so badly. My orders were given to me, and I had no idea that I was heading to the hospital to have my baby girl. So, when I got up to the registration desk, the lady entered all of my personal life history and then handed me a packet of document to take to OB—OB, I said! “Yes”, she replied, “but we will go ahead and get your labs first.” They took blood, and sent me to labor and delivery.
My mom was with me, and neither she nor I had a clue what was happening.
I rode the elevator up to the second floor and handed the girls my folder. Everyone seemed to look at me like I was in the wrong place. “Am I in the wrong place?” I figured that I surely was, but they confirmed that I was right where I needed to be.
The next thing I new, I was getting in a delivery bed and being hooked up to all kinds of monitors. I was having contractions, but I figured I would end up being sent home. Well, nope that didn’t happen. About three hours later my doctor visited and confirmed that I was in the early stages of labor and she was going to keep me. If I hadn’t progressed steadily, she wanted to put me on the drip during the night.
Oh—the drip!! I had it with my son, and I swear I think it is worse than being in labor on your own. While my family and I camped out in the delivery room, I was praying underneath my breath that the labor would progress and we could get it over with. On the contrary, come 12:00 am. I found myself being given the labor inducing, Pitocin.
The labor obviously began to progress and everyone was trying to grab a little sleep to be prepared for the busy day ahead. I had no prayer of sleeping because of a combination of pain and the rock of a labor bed that I was lying in. However, my husband took the concrete floor, my sister took the chair, my son was gracefully given the cot, my dad found a bench outside the room, and my mom took the last chair. J Needless to say, it was a long-long night!!!
Throughout the night, I concentrated on breathing techniques and thought it would be nice if I could make it through the labor without an Epidural. Call me crazy—I know, but I thought it would be an experience. The nurses kept a check on me throughout the early morning, and when they checked me around 6:30 a.m., I had only dilated to five and there was some decent pain happening to my body. In fear of a nursing shift change and possibly not having the option of an Epidural, I went ahead and requested it.
It was after 7 o’clock when the nurse and the anesthesiologist made it to my room to make my life a little easier! The thought of the needle piercing my back and the extreme pain of labor, caused me to erupt in tears. I felt so helpless—this was supposed to be the happiest time of my life and I was crying my eyes out. I kept worrying about my make-up because I wanted to be a little pretty when people came to see my newborn, but finally I just gave up on worrying with it.
As the gentleman made his way to the side of my bed, a nurse helped me to turn sideways across the edge of the mattress. The guy kept commenting about gowns and how ridiculous they were when giving the Epidural. Considering that I didn’t have a warning about staying in the hospital after my Wednesday doctor’s appointment, I was convinced that he was talking about my gown and the lacy red bra I had on. In a flood of tears, I asked the nurse, “Is he talking about my gown—I’m sorry, so, so sorry.” That nurse kind of gave a giggle and she said, “Sweetie, he is talking about the gown they make him wear.” I was in too much pain to be embarrassed, but I did feel better that he didn’t have a problem with me. J
Pretty much after a few minutes of allowing the meds to creep through my body, I felt like I was in heaven! That was most definitely the way to go. I was talking, laughing, and having a grand ol’ time waiting for my dear daughter to make her debut into the world.
As I came closer and closer to giving birth, I began to feel the unwanted labor pains again. It was intense pain—almost continuous pain. I never felt that with my son, but as a result I did experience what it is like to give birth somewhat natural. Not long after the pains returned, the nurses informed me that I was finally dilated to ten—the long awaited time had come.
The nurses quickly got my doctor and it was my time to push. They seemed to be impressed at my abilities—I had an entire cheerleading team of nurses to cheer me on. It only took me a few pushes and I heard my daughter’s sweet cry. The doctor laid her sticky, coated body onto my belly and I burst into tears. It was the most indescribable moment that a mom can ever experience. There are no words that can describe the feelings—I was in complete love all over again. The fear of being able to divide my time between my son and daughter was erased. The worry of having an equal amount of love for both of them diminished; I was ready for the new journey in my life.
I have two beautiful children now. My son whom is the first born, the one I have faced so many tough times with, the one that lightens my day with his dimple faced smile (he got that from his momma of course), the one that calls me “mom” now because he is all grown up—but yet to accommodate my loss of hearing mommy, he admitted that he will call me “mommy” when no one is around and “mom” around people—the one that I have worked so hard for, my baby boy.
Now I have my daughter whom has stolen my heart all over again, is the best of me and my husband bundled into this little person, whom is so innocent and new to this great big world, the one that lets me know what life is all about when she looks up at me with those big eyes and offers a hint of a smile, the one that is almost completely dependent on me for her daily needs, she is the one that is motivating me to finish this semester of classes and take my last Master’s class in June, she is my baby girl.
Do I have enough love to go around? I most definitely do—I love my children, my husband, and my family and friends—there’s plenty enough love. J